Addiction can turn a happy marriage into chaos. During the first years of a relationship, spouses may not be aware of their partner’s addiction. They might only find out later when it is already getting worse or when their spouse has been using more substances.
The effects of substance abuse can turn someone you’ve known for years into someone you don’t even know. It can be difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with someone who is struggling with addiction.
Addiction behavior cannot be defined as a personality trait. It is a chronic illness that can be treated.This disease is not limited to any age, gender, or limitation. It is difficult enough to live with your husband, but telling him he is addicted is more difficult. It is possible to convince someone to seek recovery by understanding addiction and how it occurs.
Drug addiction is a behavior that seeks out drugs and is difficult to control, even if the individual is aware of the consequences. Drugs can affect the brain and impair a person’s ability to make sound judgments, severely affecting a person’s ability to resist.
Although people believe drug users lack the willpower and principles to stop using, the truth is that it is a complex disease that requires much more than good intentions.
People around those struggling with drug addiction, especially their spouses, are crucial to their recovery.
How To Convince Your Spouse To Go to Therapy
You must be kind and gentle when convincing someone to seek therapy. Bringing up the topic of seeking therapy or convincing him to seek therapy again might be difficult, especially if you are used to having easy conversations with him before his addiction began. You might even end up having a heated argument with your husband, which could make it difficult to bring up the subject again.
Don’t lose heart. Here are some suggestions from Haven House Recovery for you:
You Should Communicate Effectively
The maintenance of a happy marriage depends on open communication. Be open and honest about your issues with your husband, but keep the conversation non-confrontational. Misunderstandings will only worsen the situation.
Use empathy, not judgmental language. Let him know that you care about him and are beginning to notice things. You could say, “I’m becoming more concerned about your welfare.”You are not playing the same basketball as you used to. Our children also miss your presence. You aren’t sleeping well at night, too. It keeps me up late at night.”
Avoid nagging and threatening your husband.
Ask the right questions. There are questions that can end a conversation that has just begun. Some lines of questioning are a great way to get started in a conversation.
For instance, asking “why” questions like “Why did it happen?” and “Why didn’t you seek help?” implies judgment.
Why do questions tend to be inward-looking? Although it is reflective, most of the time, it seems like an interrogation. These “Whys” can be transformed into “Whats” and “Hows,” which would make it more forward-looking and optimistic. You could ask, “What is the cause of your inability to play basketball?” or “What can I do to help?”
Don’t criticize your husband. Help him see the importance of acknowledging that something is wrong.
Clarify Your Motives
If you speak down on your husband, he might not understand what you mean. If you offer to help, your husband will be offended.
Tell him how you feel. You can say something like, “I see that you are struggling. That is why I suggest you seek help.”
Assure him that you love him by expressing thoughtful and caring words, such as “I am deeply concerned about your health. Because I love you and care about you and your family, I want to help.”
Engage him in a conversation that allows him to be honest about his feelings
Your husband would prefer to make his own decisions, and they will resist being forced to do something.
Discuss the options with him (do some research beforehand) and ask questions about his preferences. Is he more comfortable with one program than another? What would you recommend for him?
You will need to be kind and understanding to convince him to seek therapy. However, you cannot excuse his actions. Setting healthy boundaries is key to encouraging responsibility. If you can convince someone to seek therapy, it will have them on the path to recovery.
This is the beginning of a better future. Never lose hope. Get help.
Addiction is one of the most challenging problems a married couple can face. It takes a team effort to help a spouse overcome their addiction. If the addict doesn’t seek treatment, it can lead to a divorce or separation. According to the Couples Counseling Center of Chicago, addiction is the seventh most common reason for marriages ending in divorce. If you’re looking to help your loved one build a foundation for staying sober, make sure to reach out to facilities that offer targeted treatment plans to address alcohol and substance abuse in your home. It’s never too late to ask for help.